So, this is my entry for the Global Game Jam 2021, that was hosted thanks to the Interactive Society of Nova Scotia. They have been supportive of the community, and have helped ensure that the Global Game Jam would still happen in Nova Scotia. So many great games have come out during that time, and you can check them out here.

For my game this year, I was debating whether I should work alone, or with a team. Due to the online nature of the event, I decided to work alone. Making it solo, plus with the 4-day timeframe (as opposed to the usual 2 days), I had an idea to make another "personal" game. I had often made personal games within the past few years, where they vaguely detailed parts of my life. However, I wanted this to be "the one". I wanted this project to be something truly different.

For starters, I would be doing as much of the process of making the game, by myself, as possible. As an example, I had never made the music in my games, and either used royalty-free music online, or used music made by my talented friend Sam Power. I always wanted to learn how to make music, and have been practising for a while now. Only for this game jam have I made my first song. There are many other aspects of development that I learned to do on my own during this project, and I am looking forward to learning more.

Another aspect that stands out is how the music ties into the gameplay. I used an AnimationClip in Godot to time spawning random objects to the beat of the song. At least, I tried: the AnimationClip was hard to keep precise to the song. There are other areas where an AnimationClip was used for some pretty cool effects. For example, falling down the hole is animated by simply animating the UV Y-Offset value of the brick materials used for the wall.

Now, for the tough part: the emotional aspect.

In games such as Heartbreak and Grid System Race, I had hinted towards some personal stuff in my life. Normally I don't talk too much about my personal life publicly. However, this was an important topic that I felt like sharing, and one that I could create art from. I also want to give context to the game, without flat out revealing what every part of it means.

Between 2017 and mid-2020, I had suffered anxiety that led to depression. It affected me greatly, in all the wrong ways. I had distanced myself from family and friends, yet at the same time, I felt lonely. It affected my relationship at the time, and also led me to push away friends that I cared about deeply. I became afraid of what my future would hold, and would have panic attacks frequently. I would become agitated and frustrated over trivial issues.

Thankfully, I am in a much better place now. I have gotten help for my anxiety, and in turn, my depression. I thank my family, friends, and everybody that has helped me along the way to get to where I am today. Thank you for sticking through during my struggles, and for helping me escape from that dark place. For those who I may have pushed away due to my depression, I am truly sorry. I am fully open to reconnecting if possible, but I understand if that is not desired.

So now, after that difficult subject, what is the next step? I am fully motivated to continue working on new games, and releasing them here! I am very grateful for the feedback people have given me. However, I think I am done making these kinds of personal games for the time being. I want to work on games outside of game jams, and making ones that more people would enjoy. Games that are like an escape from the common problems in life. This does not mean that I am done making artistic games. Instead, I will be working on ways to evoke emotions outside of these personal projects.

I am also looking to set up proper donations for my work. Currently, some of the projects are under a pay-what-you-want model, and I greatly appreciate those that have donated. Please do not feel like you are obligated to do so; I appreciate you for simply checking out my games! Hopefully, I will be able to continue doing what I love: making games that people enjoy!

Thanks!

-Alex